Thursday, July 15, 2010

Flood

So maybe this blog can be a release. God knows I need it. My day Sunday Monday ended with a three-hour drive home, only to discover my air conditioner is broken. Then, when I wake up, my computer is broken. And to top off that 24 hours, my apartment flooded.

And I know this may just seem like a string of unfortunate events, but it really, really got me down. The flooding of my apartment was just so taxing - mentally and physically. It's like this horrible incident occurred... and I'm trying to deal with it alone. I have friends coming over asking if I'm okay, and that's fine.

But I'm still dealing with it alone. Many care on a superficial level, but few insist on coming over to make sure you're okay emotionally, even when you have a stone exterior. I've always had a problem letting people in, but I never realized how much I push people away too. I only know how to deal with problems one way -- me fixing them with no help from anybody else. Expecting nothing has worked in the past because then I won't be disappointed. But, sometimes, you have to let people in... otherwise there will be nobody left.