Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Morgantown Edition: Honky Tonk Grill

Honky Tonk GrillI should've known better.

The location is a former strip club. It's out in the middle of nowhere. And a menu is nowhere to be found on their website.

Honky Tonk Grill was rough around the edges, to say the least.

Honky Tonk GrillHonky Tonk Grill

When we pulled up, it looked like a shack. No windows and in dire need of a good scrub. Located past Sabraton, near Dellslow, it's not the most convenient location (but maybe an option for folks living out that way, I thought?). Regardless, we drove all the way there, so I wanted to go inside.

As soon as we walked inside the building, two small pups came running toward us barking. The girl working - in gym shorts and a cami - apologized and said she's usually the only one working. It was incredibly muggy inside. Their AC was broken, so she ushered us outside.

As we walked outside, I spotted what I think was a stripper stage. So, that was cool. And by cool, I mean no.

Honky Tonk Grill
Outside was just a sun-bleached deck with newly constructed picnic tables - which were prone to splinters through my dress. It was so hot that day - like upper 80s, low 90s - and there was absolutely no shade. Not an ideal combination for work clothes and hot food. There is a nice little overlook onto the creek, but there was poison ivy within arm's reach.

Honky Tonk GrillOh, the menu. One menu. For six people. Handwritten.

There was still time for me to leave, but I didn't.

We ordered drinks. Some cups came out dirty. Others had hair on them.

I ordered a pulled pork sandwich with scalloped potatoes. Coworkers had ribs, chicken wings and burgers.

Our waitress - who should've been wearing gloves - repeatedly wiped sweat off her forehead (I don't blame her, it was blazing outside), which may or may not have made its way into our food.

Speaking of things in my food.

Honky Tonk GrillI found not one but two hairs in my food. This is the absolute worst for me. I just lose my appetite. It grosses me out beyond belief. I started in the pulled pork - which was absolutely not pulled and more like a chopped up pork chop - and found an inch-long dark hair. Maybe the dog's? Because the waitress had light hair.

Then I went for my scalloped potatoes, which were surprisingly tasty, until I found an even longer blond hair.

I think I had about five bites total. And that was five bites too many.

Honky Tonk GrillA man came to join our waitress in helping us - which is great, because she was clearly frazzled - but it was too late. They brought us out pitchers of drinks and some fries, but I was already too grossed out to continue.

My coworkers finished their food - the chicken wings were average, but everything else was subpar.

I went inside to hurry along this transaction and pay. And what do we find on the floor?

Dog poop. On the restaurant floor.

I'm generally concerned with your well-being if you go here. I waited about nine hours before I was in the clear to make sure I wouldn't have food poisoning.

Avoid, at all costs.

Grade: F
Honky Tonk Grill on Urbanspoon